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Sales criminals are at it again! An inept sales rep has sent out yet another terrible pitch to a massive list of cold prospects. Unlike in past sales crime emails, this rep isn’t only lying to you – they’ve also chosen to insult your intelligence. This rep thinks that you don’t know anything about SEO, and they’re hoping to earn some business from your ignorance.

What you’re about to see is an actual sales email that we’ve received in our own inbox, with names and pertinent details redacted. Prepare yourself – these sales crimes are real, and so are the clueless sales reps who hit send. We hope that by analyzing the worst of the worst sales emails, you will never make these terrible sales mistakes yourself.

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The Insulting Pitch

Isn’t the internet just so confusing? This sales rep certainly hopes you think so. This cold email pitch is a classic case of “You don’t understand technology, so let me handle it for you.” Not only is this email badly written, it is also incredibly insulting to you and your business.

This rep is hoping against hope that you have a cursory knowledge of SEO – enough to know that it’s an important tool for your business to bring in more leads. However, they also hope you don’t know enough to actually improve your website’s SEO on your own. This prospect hopes that by insulting your website’s SEO ranking, links and social media accounts, you’ll feel insecure enough about your business to sign up for their services.

Belittling Prospects

This type of negative SEO pitch is so common, most people delete them almost without a second thought. While this email might work for a business that isn’t in the tech industry, it’s simply insulting to insinuate that a tech company like InsightSquared has no idea how to implement SEO or run social media. The sales rep is clearly being lazy, and hasn’t done any research before sending out a blast of emails to a wide list of prospects. A quick Google search would tell you a lot about InsightSquared, and would let you know that we know our SEO.

It’s especially amusing that this rep feels the need to claim that this is not “spam,” since it so clearly is. They claim to have specifically analyzed your website, but you know that isn’t true. The email states that your website “isn’t compatible with all mobile devices,” but you know that your website is fully optimized for mobile. Your marketing team is also well aware of your SEO rankings and already has a content marketing strategy in place to help boost specific keywords. This email might work for a few technophobic businesses, but it’s alienating a much larger audience that knows better than to fall for this pitch.

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How to Improve the Pitch

Insulting the prospect’s knowledge of a basic concept like SEO is simply not a great way to win business. The best way to improve the pitch would be to tailor it more closely to the companies that the sales rep is trying to reach. If this rep had done actual research and realized they were emailing a tech company, they could do an analysis of the keywords and offer specific suggestions for improvement. For example, the rep could say, “I analyzed your site and noticed that you’re only ranking 7th for the keyword ‘sales pipeline analysis.’ I have some specific recommendations on how to boost that ranking.” This message would be much more effective than simply insulting your company’s entire website, and assuming you have no SEO strategy in place. Personalization and research can be the difference between an email that someone responds to, and one that is immediately deleted.

 

Hopefully, you will never receive or even think of sending an insulting sales email in the future. Keep an eye out for the next edition of True Crimes: Cold Sales Emails for more lessons in perfecting your pitch.

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