The highly anticipated 5th season of Game of Thrones premieres this Sunday, and fans are giddy with anticipation. It’s time for more sword fighting, dragons, deadly weddings, and betrayals from the Lannisters, Starks, Tyrells, and the ever-growing cast of characters scheming to control Westeros.
But what if instead of warring families battling for the crown of a mythical Kingdom, our favorite characters were instead a highly competitive B2B sales team fighting to be the #1 rep? It might sound crazy, but the cutthroat world of sales isn’t really all that different from Westeros.
Instead of playing the Game of Thrones, we’re playing the Games of Phones – and every sales rep is out to win at all costs.
Ned Stark: The Too-Honest Sales Rep
Ned Stark knows exactly what deals he’s closing this month, and what he’s going to lose – and tells his manager everything. While his manager appreciates his honesty and integrity, Ned Stark sometimes takes honesty a little too far. When talking with sales prospects, he’s a terrible negotiator. He tells every prospect exactly what discounts he can give and is always taken advantage of by wiley prospects. Despite his best efforts, Ned Stark is fired after Q1 and never seen again. Everyone on the team misses him.
Daenerys Targaryen: The Ambitious Rep
Daenerys is an incredibly ambitious new rep who dreams of being the perfect sales manager someday. Though she’s clearly capable of achieving this goal, she always takes on way more than she can handle. Whenever a new rep starts on the team, she goes out of her way to offer sales coaching and help with training. She always tries to do the right thing, but unfortunately, her own work suffers. After spending so much time helping others, she hasn’t yet been able to achieve her own ambitious goals.
Joffrey Baratheon: The Prematurely Promoted BDR
As a Business Development Rep, Joffrey wasn’t very good. But when an Account Executive abruptly quit the company, he was promoted to AE out of necessity. Despite the fact that he did nothing to earn the role, he came into the office full of swagger, bragging about his heroic selling abilities to anyone that would listen. Unfortunately, Joffrey is a terrible rep and loses every opportunity he’s given. Not only that, but he enjoys watching other reps fail. He ruthlessly makes fun of other reps and can’t take any criticism himself. Everyone on the team hated him and cheered when he was finally fired.
Arya Stark: The Survivor
One of the youngest and most inexperienced sales reps on the team, Arya is tougher than most. She’s learned quickly to fight hard for her deals and has become a skilled sales rep in a very short time. However, because she’s so new, she’s constantly underestimated by others on the sales team. She’s not exactly a team player, but everyone always roots for her to hit quota each month, against the odds.
Varys: Master of Sales Whispers
Varys heard a rumor that a prospect’s contract with a competitor is up this month, and called at just the right moment to close the deal. He’s knows every rumor about funding and hiring and uses it to his advantage for trigger-based sales calls. Varys was the first rep on the team to know Ned Stark was about to be fired, and poached Ned’s opps the very next day. He shares his inside information with other reps selectively, and only when it suits his purposes. Though it may not always seem like it, Varys always works for the good of the entire company.
Jaime Lannister: The Arrogant Rep
Jaime Lannister’s father was a great sales rep, and so was his grandfather, and he’ll be sure to let you know it. He relies heavily on his family name and connections to succeed in sales, but hates to admit that he can’t do it on his own. Jaime is completely arrogant, never prepares for a sales call, and leans on his natural selling abilities. When he does get on the phone with a lead, he’s talented and can close deals quickly. To his face, people call him “The Golden Boy,” and behind his back they call him “The DealSlayer.”
Cersei Lannister: Loyal to Sales Only
Much like Jaime, her brother, Cersei relies on her family name and connections to close deals. She promises more than she can deliver – doing anything to close the deal. While she’s fiercely loyal to the sales team, she’s not necessarily aiming to help the whole business. She takes all the credit when she does close a big deal, and never gives the proper recognition to other departments who helped her out. Cersei only works with the reps she likes on the team and holds a grudge forever against anyone she feels has wronged her. She waits for the day she can get her revenge and call out their mistakes in a team-wide email.
Tyrion Lannister: The Underachiever
Tyrion is clearly the smartest sales rep on the team, however he tends to slack off and lose focus when it comes to selling. He’s always the first one to suggest heading to the bar after work, and always parties the hardest on sales outings. Despite this, he’s respected by those who know him best. Tyrion has read nearly every sales book and knows the strategy backwards and forwards. When he does try hard, he closes deals with ease. Unfortunately, company leaders don’t appreciate his talents sufficiently and blame him for everything that goes wrong on the sales team.
Stannis Baratheon: The Unchanging Rep
Stannis isn’t so great with change. He always goes by the sales playbook and is incapable of thinking creatively. He’s the oldest rep on the team, and has been in the business for a long time. Don’t even try to convince him to adopt a new sales technique like the Challenger Sale — it’s a lost cause. Stannis has been selling the same way for 30 years, and he’s sticking with his way of doing things. He keeps working the phones hard, and does occasionally close a big deal. Despite this, Stannis is always overlooked for promotions and goes on and on about how he should be the sales manager by now.
Bronn: The Mercenary Rep
Bronn has worked at many different companies, and is 100% motivated by money. He’s talented at selling, but isn’t really reliable. If he isn’t paid well enough, he won’t put in any effort at all. Bronn is always looking for the next job, and always feels like he should be getting more money. He’s only really loyal to whoever is signing his paycheck at the moment. He quit abruptly after he got a job offer with a higher salary from a rival company. Now, everyone calls him the Sales Sword.
Littlefinger: The Scheming Rep
Littlefinger is only interested in getting what he wants, and he’s not afraid to step over other reps on the team to win. He’s completely cutthroat and has no allegiances to other reps, though he often pretends that he does. He started at the company as a lowly intern and quickly worked his way to the top. Because he’s so unassuming, no one seems to see him as a serious threat. Littlefinger is flying under the radar for now, but he’s got a plan to be the #1 sales rep soon. He’s willing to get there by any means necessary, so you can be sure he’ll achieve his goals.
I’m sure you recognize a few of the reps in the Game of Phones, and have probably worked with some of them yourself. This game is ruthless, and you never know who’ll come out on top. Either you sell, or you die.
Think another Game of Thrones character would make a great sales rep? Share your ideas with us in the comments.