Another Valentine’s Day is here and your plans this year are the exact same as last year:
Sitting on your couch at home – alone – with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, a re-run of Love Actually on TV and a healthy dose of self-pity.
You’re single on Valentine’s Day yet again…and you just can’t figure out why.
It’s time to do an analytical post-mortem of your dating experience from this past year. By digging into what you’ve been doing, you can gain actionable insights to change your behavior and ensure that next year, you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day the way you want to – with somebody else!
Where are you Meeting your Dates?
This is the best place to start your analysis – consider this your “lead source.” Out of all the first dates you went on in the past year, where did you first meet the person you would eventually go out with?
And, just like how certain marketing lead sources produce better opportunities and more deals, certain dating lead sources will produce better second dates and more “Closed-won” dating deals.
On one end of the spectrum are those people you struck up a cold conversation with at a bar, perfect strangers whom you tried to get to know. Unfortunately – just like cold calling – these conversations had a typically low conversion rate, meaning that of all the people you talked to at a bar and tried to ask out, very few actually led to a first date or further down the dating funnel.
On the other end of the spectrum, friend referrals in dating are just like referrals in sales – valuable manna from heaven. These dating leads have been warmed up for you; your friend pitched you to another friend of theirs with aplomb, playing up your sense of humor, warm personality and stunning good looks. It makes sense that these dates – either with people you met at a friend’s party or by being set up – would convert higher.
Other sources are more of a mixed bag. Online dating is all the rage these days but your conversion rates there are among your worst – the actionable insight here is that you need to redo your profile, or come up with a new opening message other than, “How you doing?”
The gym is also a total non-starter; nobody wants to be approached when they’re sweating buckets. However, that regular cooking class you’ve been attending is showing signs of promise. Meeting like-minded individuals who share your passions and can whip up a delicious meal? Sounds like a great well to keep returning to!
To sum up your dating lead sources, it’s time to stop pursuing dates at a bar or online, and time to focus your dating energies on friend referrals and cooking classes. You will stop wasting so much time working opportunities that don’t have a high chance of closing.
How does your Dating Funnel Look?
It’s not enough to just meet people who might be interested in you; you still have to maintain your charms in the lead up to the first date, the actual first date itself, and then through any other follow-up events. Eventually, at the bottom of the funnel, you might get serious enough with your date to spend Valentine’s Day together.
Study your funnel to figure out where you are springing the most leaks, i.e. where promising dating ventures go south. If you know where dates are losing interest in you most frequently, you can actively work to tighten up those areas and improve for future dates.
From the looks of your dating funnel, your text game is on point. You flirt like a champ when you have all the time in the world to craft witty messages. You know the perfect response time, the ideal message length, the right number of emojis to use. Once you get a date’s number, you have no problem converting to the next stage.
It’s that next stage – the first date – where you struggle. Let’s not beat around the bush; you suck at first dates!
Very few of your first dates result in second dates, much less enough consecutive dates to result in Valentine’s Day companionship. This is where you need more coaching and improvement.
Maybe you’re bringing up your cats too much. Maybe you’re wearing too much cologne. Maybe you’re going to too many venues – like a concert or a movie theater – that don’t lend themselves well to first date conversations. Are you too shy and nervous? Too brash and cocky? Do you spend most of the time talking about yourself and not enough paying attention to your date?
Whatever the reason, it is imperative that you solve your first date problems. If you can get past this difficult stage, your downstream conversion rates are typically stellar. The problem is you get hung up on this stage far too often. Fix this leak in your dating funnel and you should see a great deal more second dates…and maybe even a Valentine’s Day date next year!
Diving into an analytical post-mortem of your dating experiences can uncover actionable insights for how you can improve on your overall performance. With enough improvement, you will most certainly not be spending Valentine’s Day next year with Ben and Jerry.